GroupThink

Ladies, what would we do without our girlfriends? They support us, pick us up when we are down, put smiles on our face, and are sometimes the only family we have. However, there is a danger in these close relationships.

 Many of you may not have heard of the social psychology term GroupThink. Basic understanding of the two separated words means that a group thinks together and comes to consensus. However the two words together mean some very different, and can lead to disaster.

In principle, GroupThink should be a good thing in that groups would be better than individuals are in detecting, analyzing, and solving problems.

However, in GroupThink a dominant voice arises, and the rest of the group falls victim to this narrow-minded point of view. As more and more members of the group build consensus around this single-mindedness, those outside of it feel isolated. The singular members are treated as “negative” or just failing to see what “everyone else sees”. The minority opinion is smashed out or overruled in favor of the majority opinion.

 

Businesses such as those caught up in the financial meltdown suffered from GroupThink. There were analysts predicting a major economic downturn, but the “Important People” did not listen. As a country, we all took the hit.

How does this relate to the relationships with our girlfriends?

Simply put, we are friends with people who are similar to us. They enjoy the same things, may be in similar financial, educational, and professional circles as us. If we are single, married, with or without children, our friends tend to be in similar situations. If not, the one left out may feel the pressure to get there to conform to the live styles of our lady friends.

Men rarely have the same pressure from their friends. The group will include younger and older guys. Men who are married, divorced, single, shacking-up, children, no children; educated or not it does not matter as much. But what is more important, they are less likely to involve themselves in the intricacies of each other’s personal lives. They are live and let live.

Women on the other hand believe that it is our duty to spread the knowledge we have attained over the years.

Clearly, not all advice is bad, but when a woman is trying to decide whether or not to stay with a man, the noise from bitter bitches can get in the way of clear, rational thought. If a woman is trying to leave an abusive man, there are actually women out there who tell her to stay with illogical reason such as, “At least you live in a two income household”. REALLY?????????

I am not here to judge anyone else’s life decisions. I am speaking to the one women sitting among her girlfriends trying to decide what to do with the next step in her life, whether that be in terms of a relationship, child rearing, spirituality, professional, educational, geographical etc. Just take some time ALONE. Clear out all of the messages sent to you by your best friends, mass media, and your family. Sit quietly and think about what you really want to do, look for opposing information to your understanding in order to arrive at a balanced choice, and then JUST DO IT!

There may be people who say, “You are crazy”, but in the end, whether it goes well or not, you will have gained a great deal of experience TRUSTING YOURSELF. A priceless personal attribute.