WHY WE HURT

I decided to take a break from my blog during and after the State of Florida vs. George Zimmerman debacle. During the trial, my blood boiled for Trayvon Martin, his parents, Tracy and Sabrina, and for the Black community. Once the verdict was read, it became

 

PURE RAGE!

The debate that went back and forth about the Law vs. Morality vs. Emotion, White vs. Black vs. Hispanic, and Self-defense vs. Stand Your Ground vs. Murder left me dry. I was lost, disenchanted, alone.

I couldn’t wrap my head around what to write about; I didn’t know what to say, other than I was angry. I felt a divide develop in my heart, the same one felt during the O. J. Simpson trial, and the trial of the officers that beat Rodney King. Them vs. Us.

My rage turned to anger, which turned to disbelief, which turned to sadness, which turned to knowing, which turned to understanding the depth of this reality.

What continues to baffle me is that some people still don’t understand why Black people as a whole were so intimately invested in this outcome. They want to point to “Black-on-Black” crime and say that we are a not equally as outraged about that. This again is not true. We have tried long and hard to rid crime in our communities.

What cannot be lost on everyone is that crimes committed by Black men on other Black men, never makes national news. In part, because nothing more is expected. It is almost as if you said, “Let them kill each other off”. What is salacious about these crimes to rise to the level necessary to make it into the national spotlight?

As another example, there are hundreds of women in the greater Cleveland area missing. Where is the outrage about that? When Black children go missing, there isn’t a national outcry for their whereabouts. There is halt the national news everyone when a White child goes missing. This dichotomy represents to the entire country, that Black and Brown lives are not as valuable.

Perspective of a Black Man

 I believe that President Obama spoke eloquently about what it feels like to be a Black man in American; whether it be 35 years ago or today. And yet he is the President of the United States. If he were not, he knows that his life as well as the life for his children would be different. He knows that he could have been Trayvon had life turned out differently.

My Perspective

My feeling, although in complete alignment with President Obama’s press conference statements, are from a different perspective.

My pain goes back to being a young girl who had never seen racism up close and personal. I was raised to respect everyone regardless of race, creed, color, religion, etc.

My father who is and will always remain my hero, is a respected man in the community. At that time he was a manager at his job, and a local minister. He had never committed a crime in his life, never arrested, never in trouble. My father was the most patient, loving, easy-going man on the planet. And he remains that way today.

One evening, as my dad drove the two of us home, from McDonald’s probably, we were pulled over by a local White police officer. The officer took a great deal of time coming to the car. I asked my dad why he was pulled over and he said that he didn’t know. We were not speeding, and there weren’t any traffic signals on that particular dark road, so he couldn’t have any moving violations. We were stumped

Finally, as the officer approached with his hand on his gun and holster he asked for my father license, registration, and insurance card. My father immediately complied with his request. I wanted to know why we had been pulled over. But my father sat their silently, as his documents were examined on the spot as if they were forgeries. My father answered each additional question with a “No Sir” “Yes Sir” “Yes Sir” “No Sir”. With each polite answer, the officer became more condescending and rude.

Once again, my blood boiled inside. Why is this man, young enough to be my fathers’ son, being so rude and disrespectful?

When he went back to his car to “check us out officially”, I turned to my dad, embarrassed for him and by him for allowing this treatment. I was angry & hurt & sad! The more my father said that it would be ok, the angrier I got. I wanted him to be mad. I wanted him to say it this is wrong, and I am going to do something about it.

My father, who is extremely mild mannered, gave me a stern warning to watch it, and be quiet. My outrage had been silenced by the man I loved and admired.

Once the officer returned to the car, he handed my father back his documents, made some reference about being careful, and sent us on our way. My hero , my daddy had been treated as if he was less than.

DRIVING WHILE BLACK IN AMERICA

What shook me to my core was that my father reasoned that it was better that we were disrespected, and home alive, then right and dead on the side of that road.

It was a lesson I didn’t want to learn. I wanted fairness and equality, respect and consideration.

This change when I had my Black son. Not that I desired these things any less; this blessing in my life came with the realization that he too would have to come to the same reasoning as my Dad, when it came to authority, especially the police. And I like so many other Black parents, especially of Black boys I had to teach the lesson. You are worthy by right, but not the same in their eyes.

This is not a direct assault on police officers. I love and respect those who put their lives on the line to serve us. However, the ones who use and abuse their authority for their own self-esteem have no idea what they do to the little girls and boys in the car with their parents while they disrespect them.

TOO THEM, I WILL ALWAYS HOLD A GRUDGE

Back to George Zimmerman

George Zimmerman as the neighborhood watch captain, failed as a leader for his community. Why? Because he killed a member of his community. Who wants a neighborhood watch captain like that?

Part of what made the Zimmerman case so pivotal is that George wasn’t anyone of any authority. Trayvon did not have to acknowledge him at all. Trayvon had every right to ignore him, and go anywhere on the property for the public he so chose. If someone followed George in his neighborhood, that would be suspicious. No? So why did Trayvon not have to same right to be suspicious of George Zimmerman?

I believe in the Castle Doctrine. If you break into someone’s house or place and business without reason, what you get is what you asked for.

 

However, if you are walking, jogging, running in place, running home, in any neighborhood in these United States of America, you should not fear for your life. Not in the Black community, White community.

NOT IN ANY COMMUNITY!

Stand your ground says that if you have a right to be there, you can stand your ground. But what are the rights of the other person? Trayvon had every right to be there. Essentially, he was resident of the gated community for the time that he was visiting with his father; the circumstances of which is no one else’s business, but his parents.

Secondly, the overarching result of this verdict now says that you can start an altercation (following them in your car and on foot in the dark @ 7 pm in the evening). If at any point during the altercation you start to lose or feel that you will receive great bodily harm (fear of death not necessary) you can use deadly force. So how does this work? I started it, but when I can’t end it, I can take your life!

What I don’t understand is that it was never the consideration of the prosecution or the jury to understand that this entire story could be true, but in the reverse. Perhaps Trayvon was in fear for his life. Perhaps George stepped to him, with the gun already drawn. Maybe Trayvon thought that he had to fight to save his own life, and fought for the gun. Never did they think of Trayvon as a child. He was a Black Man to be feared.

                                                                                                                

My blood boiled for Trayvon Martin, his parents, Tracy and Sabrina, and for the Black community.

I now fear for my own son, as he walks the street by himself, in his community, in a state where Stand Your Ground is law.