The Brighter Side

I am a Type A, critical person. I am analytical, detailed and judgmental of myself and others. This is a flaw in my character. While other people see the shine in a situation, I see the tragedy. I am in expectation of the catastrophe.

We can look at the same movie, photograph, article or television program, and it is rare that my first, second, or third response will be positive. If someone else finds the good, I may agree with their thoughts. Afterwards, I am disappointed because of my inability to be optimistic.

It is clear that I have a fatalistic personality. I am not only in anticipation of the trespass to my sensibilities, I seek it out. For example, while I am engaged in conversation, my brain is looking for the “wrong” in what is being said. I am looking for the “argument” to be made.

YingYangAstrologer

Having a negative outlook has obvious negatives. However, the positives make it difficult to change.

It has worked out positively in situations where a critical eye was necessary. For instance, when working on a project, paying attention to detail is a valued skill set. Nothing is left to chance; there is no “go with the flow” energy. When the goal is to achieve perfection, and it does, the positive outcome reinforces the method to your madness.

When engaging in a conversation with someone, I pay attention to everything - the words being spoken, the tone, to message, the facial and body language. What I also do is listen intently for where my logic, values and understanding differs from what is being said. While the other person is speaking, I am thinking of the 50 reasons why I find disagreement with their views.

In the end, I am creating a personality composed of opposition, challenges, and rivalry - unwarranted. 

This needs to change

When it is sunny outside, I need to appreciate the sun, and not get irritated by the wind. When watching a movie, I need to recognize the value of the art, and the directors' point of view. More importantly, when it comes to interpersonal relationships, I need to find the place of consensus.

I am still going to disagree with many things. If you know me, you know I am the “playing devil’s advocate” queen.

What is vital is that I wish to walk away from as many situations as I can on a positive note; The Brighter Side.

This is going to be difficult, but imperative in my growth as a daughter, mother, sister, woman. As Me!

Lala